Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
