Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
