): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
