your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
