I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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