yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize