come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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