Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
