I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
