I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
