i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
please come you make the beer taste better
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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