Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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