Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
