you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
