at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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