They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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