i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
