"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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