Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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