Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize