So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
