All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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