I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
