I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I supernannyed him into submission
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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