Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
