if you like me you must not know who I am
I looked at my own cervix.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
