We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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