I wish i was in the wii world.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize