i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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