they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize