I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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