i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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