just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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