she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You are the jesus of drinking
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
