Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
