Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I love you. Go after that dick
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
