There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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