i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
