I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
