We tried having a conversation with our noses.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
