Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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