Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
