i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
