my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize