Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
