youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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