Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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