Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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