I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize