I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
