Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
