im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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