those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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