Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
