There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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