We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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