how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
