It's Friday. Sex?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm passing your future prison.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
