I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
