On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
