Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
