My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
