I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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