After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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