I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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