Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
