I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
