I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
